I have felt that perhaps the crew of the Boner has been a bit harsh in their assessments of Councilor Troi over the first season and a half of the show. I mean she’s only half Beta Zoid and you kind of have to give her certain leniencies in how her powers are interpreted. Then I watched the episode “The Measure of a Man”.
THIS MOTHERFUCKER DONE TOOK MY ARM OFF! WTH RIKER?!
Now before I get into the episode let me just start out by saying that Data is one of my favorite characters on the show. I feel that he brings that perfect balance that is equal parts child like wonderment that you get from Wesley, (without wanting to punch him in the face after every word that comes out of his cock holster) pure logic that is void from the show without a prominent Vulcan present, and automaton fuck machine that Kirk could have been if he didn’t need things like food, and that Riker just can’t do because he lets stuff like duties and career choices get in the way.
I’ll let you insert your own vagina related puns here…
So then comes the episode and I’m watching it and at first I’m like “Ok, here’s the obligatory douche bag episode that comes around about once a season.” Then as the episode carries on we see Picard set shit straight with some lippy broad that tried to pin him to the fire stake for the things that happened while he was on command with the Star Gazer. Although I liked to think that it was really a whole sub story there with a space don’t ask don’t tell thing and it really being the Meat Gazer, but I digress. Soon we are introduced to a guy by the name of Commander Bruce Maddox that makes Cpt. Louvois (lippy broad) look like a Salvation Army fund raiser. Without even one word having been said I’m already getting a vibe off this guy that he may or may not have not touched children in the name of “Science” at some time.
Hide yo kids, hide yo bridge officer android.
Now to circumvent a bunch of space legal mumbo jumbo it all pretty much is basted down to this, Cmdr Maddox not only was the ONLY member of Starfleet academy to oppose Data’s entry into Starfleet’s active corps as an officer, but now this chump wants to dissect Data so that he can possibly build an entire fleet of androids after understanding exactly how his posatronic brain works. Yeah that’s right he’s not even exactly sure how to recreate the conditions that allow Data to be awesome instead of being that tard of a robot in Lost in Space, but wants to take him apart regardless. Now this guy’s whole logic behind all of this is that Data is nothing more than a glorified toaster (which how this asshole even knows what a toaster is in the 24th century is a bit odd) . The rest of the episode is pretty much a space people’s court that pits Picard against Riker in arguing the philosophy of whether or not Data is a sentient being.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “What does Troi have to do with any of this?” exactly nothing. That useless space def finally has a chance to contribute something more than awesome V-neck cleavage shots and she’s nowhere to be found.
Presumably busy getting her space perm redone or something.
Now just a two episodes ago in “The Schizoid Man” Troi gargles out something over her swollen tongue to the effect that she senses two distinct personalities present in Data after the creepy geezer possesses Data. Now if there is one thing indicative of a sentient being it would be the presence of a personality, whether it’s a dog, or a person, or an emotionless star ship councilor that can sense other’s feelings. BAM, open and closed case; the race of people who’s soul claim to fame in this universe is the fact that they can sense the sentient thoughts and feelings of others around them has a representative on board that says she senses a personality present inside Data. Cue the “Law and Order” music that sounds at the end of every episode when Jack McCoy really starts ripping ass in the trial, this shit is a wrap hell yeah.
Wait, no? What do you mean she wasn’t even in this episode? This is Bullshit, what was she not around? Then call her ass, oh wait let me guess everybody on the entire space station and Enterprise was out of space minutes. This shouldn’t even have been an episode at all, but alas it was and it just furthers my questions as to why this failed audition of “The Miracle Worker” is even on the ship at all.
Oh, yeah. Right…..
Lt. NOLA-Z
