Lt. Commander Bob Frantz
Lt. Commander Tug Johnson
Hello Welcome Aboard! I’m Lt. Commander Tug Johnson, your Tactical and Rest and Recreation officer. Former commanding officer of USS John H. Boner…But lets not talk about why I was demoted to Lt. Commander and relieved of my command. That’s all in the past. Ever since I was a young lad I’ve always wanted to explore…men…..I mean space..space..and that’s it. Anyways I like to keep the crew in tip top shape by inviting them to morning nude yoga in the holodeck. I work hard and play hard….sometimes maybe a bit too hard…that’s probably why I’m no longer the Captain of the Boner but lets not reminsce about the past. Aside from that I don’t like to use the transporter so I like to have my own personal shuttlecraft which I have painted the name “TUG” on the side…that’s so you know that it’s mine. I also collect 2tst Century weapons and enjoy going on away missions…so yep that’s….about it…oh and I don’t like Lt.Command Worf…IT WAS A JOKE! I MOONED YOU YES BUT THAT WAS FOR FUN AND I WAS SPACE DRUNK! NO NEED TO REPORT IT TO STARFLEET AND GET ME DEMOTED YOU DICK BAG!….DAMMIT! I’m sorry sometimes I just lose it.
Lt. Commander Dennis Black-and-Asian
I was lucky to get into Starfleet Academy. I almost slept through my Space SAT and I just had to fill out the answer sheet without reading any questions. Imagine my surprise when I got accepted into the engineering program! After graduating in 2357, I was posted on the USS Bukakke; I thought it would be a fun ship but I soon found out it was named after a method of serving noodles and not…well, just not what I originally thought…
Eventually I did a stint working security at the outpost Seran T-1. There were a bunch of egghead engineering types there, but they did have a pretty kick-ass Orion-themed bar. Unfortunately after one drunken night, Leah Brahms wouldn’t stop calling me so I had to get transferred off station…and so that’s how I ended up on the Boner…so to speak…
Lt. Commander Jennie Zell
Lt. Commander Hulkster
Lt. Commander Benjamin T. McCormick
I am the former commanding officer of the USS Yorktown NCC-1704-C. After a distinguished career I was stripped of command and demoted to Lt. Commander due to an incident involving three Green Orion Slave Girls, a Holographic Nun, two chimpanzees and a collection of Klingon aphrodisiacs. I now serve as the Helmsman on the USS Boner. My driving record is a little spotty with four totaled vehicles in a 13 month period. Hopefully the Boner’s insurance rates won’t go up too much.
and Acting Ensign Amy H. Klein