Being stationed on the USS Boner for several months now, I noticed that we had no on-board Ship’s Counselor, yet it seems that many of the 480 crew members could really use a good therapy session. There is a lot of drama on this vessel.
I brought up this concern with Capt. Notpatrick Stewart. “Excellent observation,” he said, “I completely agree with you. Since you seem to be the most qualified, I hereby assign you as part time Ship’s Counselor.”
I should have learned long ago, when I bring up an idea it essentially means “I volunteer for this new job.” Or maybe I got the job because I have so many V-neck sweaters and a bottle of Soul Glo for my hair. Either way, I’m pretty excited for this task, as it means I can get all the good Boner gossip before anyone else.
So now my door is officially open to all of you Boner crew AND listeners of the Dork Trek podcast! If you find yourself needing advice of any kind, drop me a line! Send me a sub-space communication however you like … on Spacebook, comment back here or send a DM to @dorktrek on twitter. Your response will be posted here (anonymously, if you wish) on the USS Boner’s log files.
I look forward to learning all of your innermost secrets — I mean, helping you with your personal problems.
LCDR Zell,
I would like your counsel on some….thing and since your door is open for us Boners I will be needing your services probably right after space last call….
LCDR Tug Johnson
Oh is that what I am to you? the girl you go to after 10 Forward closes and you can’t find someone else?
I’m fine with that.
i total peed myself loling at your blog man. It was the best episode ever and i want to make love to spok! ;). BTW i am selling a limited edition gold painted enterprise space moduel for $20. Please reply for shipping. Geeks out!
OH YEAH!
any geeketts out there, i have been single for a short time (all my life) and am looking for someone like me>>:p? Please comment under my post if your completely sprazzled by hot B’Etor and Amsha Bashir who are my babes. GEEK OUT!